Words for you HC.

You will never know how moved I was by your words. They pierced me and gave me goosebumps. You often apologized for how much you'd reveal, but as narcissistic as it may sound, I loved knowing that I took up most of your thoughts. How terribly v a i n. You will also never know how much I admired your words. Your eloquence gave me chills and only made me fall for you more and more. I wish I had given you all that you gave me with each of your messages: your wishes, your mood, your aspirations, your sadness, your environment, your perspective, your atmosphere, your honesty. Your genuine sincerity pulled me in and there i wished so much to remain, but reality sets in. Your life is not your own, so what can you do?

If your eyes ever wander onto this weblog, I want you to know that I love you. You are inspiration at its best. Your creativity was contagious and is missed each and every day. There are some days I need your words. I need you.

Rape n Such

One day I sat and thought about the whole idea of rape or being raped in its entirety. I recollect the imagery of news reports with 'rape victim' headliners, and remember the few rape scenes I actually watched all the way through from graphic movies. I reminisce of past lovers and the intimate moments we shared. A discussion of whether or not it was kosher to wear socks in the act plays in my head. I call to mind the willingness we had to be so vulnerable to each other, and how morbidly damaging it would be to be raped. To have someone physically force themselves on you. To feel so helpless that you know that your cries for help are heard by no one, but you and your rapist. To know that your screams of pain are just getting him off. "I like 'em loud!" he says between grunts of sick satisfaction. He finds your suffering satisfying. He finds it easier to bend you over to do it. He finds your blood dripping down your widespread legs and continues. His nicotine breath on your back getting your skin clammy becomes heavier with each thrust. He presses deeper and more of you is torn. He pounds faster and the pain doesn't stop. He doesn't stop. He takes you. He robs you of the comfort of a sexual partner. He rids you of the longing and consolation of a lover. All gone, all of you. G o n e.

Night w/ ma girliess :D

I just realized I only really hang out with 2 other girls in my current lifestyle. We're spending the night e together and I've also realized that this female bonding thing is something I lack now in my life. I find it ironic how I'm, for the first time, in a treble choir this semester and coming to terms with the imbalances of my lifestyle. Feed the needs. Moderation is key. Tonight will be a good night. I dunno why I already know that XD

Weee 1st blog!!

I'm slowly evolving from Xanga. I was turned on to the idea by my best friend Brian and the blog he's got going on with the Brookstinator over here --> two-percent-cement.blogspot.com

I actually just blogged on my xanga, Dirrtyhands.xanga.com/weblog, so until next time..